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Frequence is less decisive than than impact. They can deliver a calculated blow, causing the most impact. They do this infrequently and still cause harm steady, consistent, continued, application of a message or theme that causes harm. Or they can create and enforce practices that relegate another to secondary, submissive or lesser status. Look what the germans did to the jews. Look what the whites did to african americans. Again, consider impact. When we ask someone to submit to monitoring, scrutinizing, on-going questioning of their conduct, intentions, truthfulness, etc.

It gives the wounded parther the upper hand, the apparent authority and juristidction to question, to re-question, to test, to check up on, to monitor the words and deeds of the submissive party. It vacates responsibility from the wounded party from learning to trust their partner. It places the burden of non-trust on the offending party. I can't heal another. Only they can heal their selves. Any practice that relegates another to a lesser position is.

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I don't believe it is ever justified. Worse, it takes both people father away from what's most important having a loving relationship where there is intimacy, vulnerability, deep sharing and caring a relationship that is mutually nurturing, mutually satisfying and brings out the best in each person a relationship where both parties flourish and grow as human beings. Growing necessariy means that we transcend our barriers and constraints.

Our partners can contribute and support this effort, but the effort ultimately is generated by one's Self and the hard won freedom is enjoyed by everyone touched by that person's life. Our lives are moving tapestries. The deeper truth is we're deeply interconneted and our greatest challenge is to and understand ourselves enough to another. Herein lies our vulnerability We're all fragile. Lol my father had and still has a VERY narcissistic personality. He also did some damage to me when I was a, but more physical than emotional I think. Lol I think I avoid seriously dating any narcissists, for the sake of my daughter.

He is the exact same person. After 14 years, mine still was.

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But if I had said no to minor at that point I probably wouldn't feel like crap ab it now. I hardly ever speak to him anymore, to prevent him from being able to passive all over me. I don't think I could stand him in my home; the word "contamination" comes to mind. If it bothers you at all, don't let him in. You can forgive him just fine over the phone. You are an adult now, and any future harm you incur now is your fault. Load More Profiles Looking for a reoccurring hookup. Best alaskan sausage m4w Indepedent white married swingers wants casual dating nsa personals straight male 5' seeks a cutie to service me, also interested in a 3 way.

Can host. Chocolate a plus. No tag. Either you get my if I think you're legit or I get yours. No glamour shots keep it real please. Single ladies preferrable Put what you want in the subject line I'm good with it. Hope to bend you over soon. Wife seeking seduction couple seeking women Adult looking nsa Lowndesville SouthCarolina "rehashing the past" but that you're seeing a repeating pattern in her behavior. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but if she's going to keep on making the same one over and over, it's not exactly an "accident", is it?

It's who she is, someone who has to be flirting on the edge of infidelity to get her fix of attention from some other guy. And you have the right to point this out to her. She sounds like someone who needs a lot of attention from the opposite sex, for whatever reason. The whole sexting and pictures thing from "the past" makes her sound ridiculous and immature but then I think everyone sounds ridiculous doing that silliness all day. If the situation were reversed, and you were texting a 20 year old girl from your work all day and night, and lying about your whereabouts, and hiding your e-mails and all that crap, would she have something to say about it?

Ask her. Maybe she'll say she wouldn't have any problem at all with that. THAT would certainly tell you where you stand, wouldn't it? It ain't sounding too good to me. Swingers want group sex muscle girls.

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