Looking for someone i express myself to without being backstabbed

Added: Loren Pereyra - Date: 30.07.2021 11:44 - Views: 27880 - Clicks: 2504

Celestine is the Founder of Personal Excellence where she shares her best advice on how to boost productivity and achieve excellence in life. Read full profile. When I heard it, I was infuriated of course. How about the values of loyalty, trust, and respect for others?

Have they been thrown out of the window in this time and age? However, as with every unpleasantry in life, I began to turn it around through the six steps below. For me personally, there is no place for hypocrisy in my life. Whenever I meet someone whom I feel is unauthentic, I would cut the person from my life because I have no wish to deal with misgivings, distrust, disloyalty, etc. So I cut this person away. It was depressing enough to be backstabbed by someone whom I thought was a trusted comrade, much less learn about the depressing opinions this person had been harboring against me.

I felt like I had been totally wrong in my judgment and the friendship was never what I thought it was; it was just an illusion in my mind. I felt I was infected by a virus in my soul and I needed to cut it away, pronto. Then, I did damage control by rectifying the statements which had been made. I shared my side of the story to whoever they were aired to. If you have been backstabbed, take a step back and evaluate your situation. If yes, what is this damage? Is it damage to your reputation? Damage in terms of potential business deals? Damage in terms of relationships?

For the damage rendered, what can you do to reverse it? Address the damage as best as you can within your locus of control, and then….

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One of my biggest qualms is that people might have bought into what the badmouther said and used those words to formulate their impressions of me, thereby making it impossible for me to ever form a true, authentic relationship with any of them. My life mission is to connect with everyone in the world, and to know that some people might have closed their hearts from me because of certain comments made by another is truly devastating. These people might well have passed on the comments to people they know, of which the latter group might have done the same thing, thereby making it an irrevocable damage.

To address this, I simply learned to… let go. Rather than obsess about something I cannot effect, I would do better by letting that go and focusing on the things I can effect. Read the next tip. Actions will always speak louder than words.

So, I decided to correct the false picture not through words, but actions. By ensuring my behavior is true to my five core values, something which I already strive to do every day. I thought it was a huge stamp of approval coming from him as he is already in his 60s, has set up and IPO -ed countless businesses, and has worked with countless people in the 40 over years he has spent in the business world.

His comment reminded me that as long as I do my thing and live true to my conscience, people will naturally know what I stand for as a person. You show people you are a good person not by saying you are one, but by taking actions consistent with what you define as being a good human being.

At the end of the day even after you live true to yourself, people are still free to make their own conclusions.

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Some may choose the negative judgment despite everything you do. However, as long as you know your values and take actions consistent with those values, your actions will shine more brightly than whatever people try to say about you. I always believe there is something to learn from every situation.

This incident is no different. From this episode, I learned quite a of things about myself, surrounding my fears, my anxieties, and my treatment of friendships. I learned to be more appreciative of true friends who have always been there for me.

I also learned that I can be dead wrong in my judgment sometimes, and what I think is my intuition at work can just be a neurological dysfunction in my left brain. Above all, I learned to stick to my guns and stay true to what I stand for, instead of shirking myself out of fear of non-conformance with the world. If you are serious about creating an impact, you are bound to ruffle some feathers here and there.

Other people can put you down but you will always have your voice. In light of the big picture of things, the incident was just totally inificant. For example, we have a meteorite that just hit Russiainjuring over 1, people. Up north, we have North Korea doing secret nuclear tests. Down south, kids in South Africa are dying every day due to famine and diseases. Then over in America, fundamental social issues beg looking into.

The of homeless people in New York City continues to rise every year. Schools in U. Feel those emotions, vent to your friends if you have to, then get over it. There are so many other things to concern yourself in life. Why let yourself be bothered by something as tiny as this? Rather than harp on the negative, why not divert your energy to the positive things in your life and build on them? What are your long-term goals? What are your short-term goals? What are your Quadrant 2 items which you have been procrastinating on? How about getting started on them right this moment?

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Peak-Performance Leadership Consultant Read full profile. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication.

And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting. Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties. It starts with intentional listening and being present. There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking.

Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless. Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing. A classic example of this is the formation of memories.

Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, ? But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd,this date probably holds some sort of ificance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

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Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away! While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language.

And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to. Body language can play a ificant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.

Looking for someone i express myself to without being backstabbed

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